Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
