from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
