you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize