hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize