by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
