I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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