I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
