Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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