i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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