butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Randomize
