We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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