it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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