Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
