i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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