It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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