it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Randomize
