I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just tell him i said nine months
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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