guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i think i have herpe
just one?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
