erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
