69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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