toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
