I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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