i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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