I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
