And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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