Define "chronic" masturbator.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
