everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
