Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
