Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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