I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
