Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
