You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
