Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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