Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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