I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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