We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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