I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
