In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
