Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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