Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
