She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
