With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
