It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
