Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
