this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
