The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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