Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
