It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
