She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
