we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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