I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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