he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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