You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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