Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
