grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize