Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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