I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
