Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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