Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
